January 13, 1995

I don't know where my "Lockport Strike n Spare Bowling" pen disappeared. It was a beautiful pen; that is, it's writing style was quite nice and easy. I feel like I'm straining with this thing. Well, it's been an eventful eight days since I last wrote, especially in terms of my story above. The entire weekend last was just a really enjoyable time & I wish to always keep it in my memory, because it was just really enjoyable. I don't quite know what to say without delving into a full-fledged account of it. Truthfully, I'd like to maybe turn it into a narrative short story. But I guess the upshot is that Chris & I remained close throughout the weekend and slept on each other's shoulders on the way home, much to the dismay/curiosity of Adam Gyn@c, whom we all dubbed "the vampire," for no particular reason except to talk about him while he was present, which was pretty much always. He latched on, like a leech, and expected that if he were hungry, we would accompany him. But this all must be saved. The ride home made me feel good. God, it was great. What else do I say? I had to comfort the boy because he was feeling depressed Saturday night, and I guess we all were, sitting among freshly-mopped McDonald's floors, eating meaningless not-quite-right fish sandwiches, an off-taste, little Chris frowning about L@nay Martin's¹ screaming at him to hurry up when a homeless man approached -- Chris empied his pockets... This is too involved... Such rampant homophobia.² But listen to what Marie told me this morning, or listen to what she implied. Go on, listen. Call the girl up. Well, she implied to me that Chris & Laurie have, so to speak, had sex. Marie agreed that it ruins the notion of Chris-ism. That's not what he should be about. Well, I shouldn't say what he should be about, because that's just how Laurie is, I think, treating him as her little pet, saying how she wanted to "deflower" him -- and just because she adores him -- not because she truly loves him... I don't like that image of them. Just like Meredith & Scott³ -- Let's go slice that fat bastard up...⁴
JMC 2:11 pm

1 One of the parent chaperones on the IHSTF trip. She had a son named Chris, who probably catches a lot of flak now.

2 I'm not sure exactly what this refers to. I was probably being sensitive about certain people's reactions ... but to what?

3 I had a crush on Mered!th Kas0wicz, who was dating Sc0tt Malz@hn, but I don't understand the analogy: did I feel, perhaps, like they didn't belong together for some reason?

⁴ A quote from a Seinfeld episode that aired in spring 1993, which I suppose I'm applying to the stocky Malz@hn, but again, I'm not really sure why. Sorry, I'm no help today!